Destiny's Union
by The Icing Addict
Summary: Hidan and Kakuzu are on a recon mission to investigate this new world called "Gran Pulse". What will the two discover there? Pulsians and monsters of course! And a whole lot of weirdness. Rated M for Hidan's language & possible future themes!
1. Begin

**A/N : Hey everyone! It's the un-famous author The Icing Addict returning to make more crackish, cross-over pairings and whatnot! Hahahah!**

**I've decided to write a Oerba Yun Fang x Hidan story because I feel like it, and because my friend's writing a fanfic, so I felt like joining.**

**I'm not sure if this'll just be one chapter or multiple chapters. It depends on the reviews I get. And whether I'll be seriously dedicated to this story. Because, well, I'm more of a drawer than a writer!**

**Anyway, to the story we go! Please enjoy.**

**WARNING: This is slightly AU, as some of the things that occur in this story would probably never happen in the real manga/anime/game. Also, this is pre-game, meaning the time Hidan and Fang meet up, Fang and Vanille haven't been through the War of Transgression. So no Lightning, Snow, Hope or Sazh.**

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"Hey Kakuzu, you fucker! When are going to be fucking there?" Hidan complained crudely.

"Shut up you twit! Just keep going, we'll be there!" Kakuzu retorted, as they kept jumping through the trees.

The mission the two "Zombie Brothers", as Kisame called the duo, were given was to do recon in this new world - and possibly dimension - called 'Gran Pulse'. The place sounded extremely foreign to the two Akatsuki members. But like Tobi said, "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page". Where Tobi got that saying, no one knew. Deidara supposed Tobi acquired some sort of "'Magical' Books of Sayings". This was pure sarcasm, no doubt.

After thirty minutes, forty-five seconds of continuous jumping through trees (and occasionally Hidan somehow jumping into a larger branch without really focusing), the two finally reached their soon-to-be destination, which happened to be a giant-ass purple portal.

"What the fuck is this bullshit?" Hidan stated.

"Probably the thing that'll get us to Gran Pulse." Kakuzu said flatly.

"Well let's go! I'm sick of jumping through these shitty trees!"

Kakuzu just sighed as his impatient Jashinist partner walked into the portal.

"I just hope to Kami that this won't take to long. Maybe I can grab some cash while I'm at it"

**oXo**

"Whew! Well, thats the last one for the day!" exclaimed a bronze skinned woman, while carrying the dead animal.

"Hooray! Now we'll have some more food for our village!" a red ponytailed girl said happily.

"Come on Vanille! Help me drag this Gorgonopsid"

"Alright"

The two young woman carried the Gorgonopsid back to their beloved village, Oerba.

**oXo**

"We're here, Hidan." Kakuzu stated.

"Holy fucking Jashin, it's HOT!" Hidan complained.

"Then take off the cloak, idiot. Just don't whine"

"Whoo hoo! Freedom from the cloak, and time to show of my sexy bod!" Hidan yelled to the heavens, as he literally ripped his cloak off. **(A/n: Admit it, Hidan WOULD do this. xP) **

'_Dearest of Gods, help me now...'_

Hidan, finally free of the dark robe he was forced to wear, ran off towards some happy Microchus, scythe and spear in hand. Kakuzu sighed once again, as he continued to follow his partner.

"Die you little shits!" Hidan cried as he stabbed the poor little Microchus.

The poor things cried out in pain as they were thrown into the air and then stabbed with the scythe. Hidan enjoyed his little deathly fiasco too much; as it was shown when the seedlings hit the ground, the Jashinist decided the stab the living daylights out of the poor things. Of course, this is what Hidan does for most of the time. Once Hidan was covered in Microchu blood, he cried out in victory.

"Are you done yet?" Kakuzu questioned impatiently.

"Yeah, I'm done you stupid bastard. Let's go and find more things to kill" Hidan stated as he began to run towards a group of Gremlins.

Kakuzu began to proceed, but spotted something shiny.

"Money...?" Kakuzu wondered. _'Better save it for later, just in case. Better safe than sorry, I suppose...'_

**oXo**

After an hour and a half of killing Pulsian monsters, the duo began to tire out a bit. Just because they basically had eternal life didn't mean that they have eternal stamina. The Zombie Brothers sat beside some large rocks, taking in the heat.

"Geez, does the sun ever stop shining here?" Hidan complained.

"Probably not" Kakuzu answered, who by now has also removed his cloak and his mask.

Hidan spotted some Kaiser Behemoths and decided to kill them, mostly because he was starting to get hungry. Kakuzu decided to watch his partner. Maybe this battle would be entertaining.

The hungry Jashinist approached a behemoth carefully, not that it would matter if he got torn to bits, but just did it for the sake of catching his prey. The behemoth, however, took notice of Hidan right away, and began to charge at him.

"Aw fuck!" Hidan cursed, and began running. Kakuzu saw all of this, and began laughing insanely. He didn't think anything looked so ridiculously weird and hilarious.

As soon as Hidan reached a small lake, he jumped in. The monster saw this, but stopped at the edge of the lake (Behemoths are mighty and all, but I'm sure they can't swim). The Kaiser Behemoth gave up and turned around, deciding to look for other things to kill and eat. The Jashinist raised his head from the lake just a little bit to see where the behemoth was. Once the monster was a good distance away, Hidan slowly rose from the lake and charged at it. Hearing the footsteps, the Kaiser Behemoth turned around, only he turned around too late, as Hidan was already in mid-air and stabbed the creature in the back. The silver-haired man claimed the victory; he won.

"Haha! You stupid piece of shit! You think you could kill Hidan! HA! AS IF!" Hidan screamed in victory once again. The man stepped aside and began to cut the creature into large pieces, only to find out that the behemoth's eyes were still ... open and alert?

"What the fu-"

The great monster pushed Hidan off of it viciously and began to stand up. It pulled something from its head, which happened to be a giant razor-blade and roared a mighty roar.

"Oh COME ON. This time the Gods are seriously fucking with me" The silver-haired man complained.

He was about to prepare his scythe and spear and begin the battle when he heard a voice. And no, it wasn't Kakuzu's.

"HaaAAAAAAH!" A woman screamed, as she jumped up into the air, and punctured the monster's skull with her lance. The behemoth fell, and the woman retrieved her lance.

"Hey Vanille! We got more food! Call the people, we'll need more hands" She laughed.

Hidan stared at the woman, with confusion and with admiration. Confusion because he hasn't seen a women with such ability, and also because he's never been saved like that. But the silver-haired man stared at her with admiration (and lust) because (1) This woman was down-right gorgeous and (2) again, her prowess and ability. The young beauty finally took notice of the staring Hidan, and chuckled.

"Whaddaya staring at, mate?" the woman asked playfully.

Hidan didn't answer, for was too busy looking at the woman's gorgeous features.

"Probably you, miss" Kakuzu answered.

"And who are you, may I ask?"

"Kakuzu, and this is my um ... 'friend'" the tall man responded.

"Hm, interesting. I don't think I've ever seen you around. Well, my name's Fang" the Pulsian woman said.

"And I'm Vanille! Nice to meet you!" the red head exclaimed, grasping Kakuzu's large hand and shaking it.

"MY NAME'S HIDAN!" the Jashinist practically screamed, his face flushed.

Fang smirked at the response and helped him up, "So, where you guys from? From the look of it, it doesn't seem like you're around from here. Care to share?"

"It's kind of hard to explain. We're basically not from here. As in, this world" the tanned man stated.

"So your from Cocoon?"

"C-cocoon?" Hidan stuttered.

Vanille pointed to the giant, floating red planet. "That's Cocoon."

Kakuzu wasn't sure whether to lie or not, so he simply told the two Pulsian women that they were from another world/dimension, which he hoped they would believe him. Vanille believed him, mostly because the two men didn't seem dangerous; while Fang was a little skeptical. Fang the decided that the two men could either stay with them in Oerba or they could do whatever they wanted and Fang and Vanille and their clans would leave them alone. This time, Kakuzu pulled Hidan over away from the people so they could discuss what to do.

"I want to stay with the sexy bitch" Hidan stated.

"I can tell. But we really need to have a reason WHY we should stay with them..."

"Because the bitch's hot! I want to share her beauty with Jashin!"

"What the ... I'm not going to ask. Hm, we'll stay with them for the night, and then tell our leader our status" Kakuzu stated.

"Fuckin' fine" Hidan replied childishly, sticking out his tongue.

"Has it been decided?" Fang asked.

"Yes, we'll stay with you for a bit"

"Alright!" Fang turned to Vanille and the rest of the hunting group, "Looks like we're gonna have some guests in Oerba! Let's make them welcome, eh?"

Everyone agreed, as the Zombie duo and the Pulsian tribe marched all the way through the Mah'habara Subterra and Taejin's Tower and to home, Oerba.

_TBC._

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**A/N: Okay that was ... decent. I still thin I could do better. Please read and review! :)**


	2. Eavesdropping and Soup

**A/N: Okay .. so in my last one, Hidan was kind of OOC, with the whole "I want to share her beauty with Jashin" and stupid crap like that. Ugh, I apologize. I'm not very good at keeping the characters IN CHARACTER. :P**

**Well, Read, Enjoy and hopefully Review.**

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Once the very large group of Pulsians (excluding the two Akatsuki members) reached Oerba, most of the hunters quickly took the monster meat, and gave them to merchants to sell, and to their chiefs. Vanille was told to take the duo to their new 'home', while Fang went to talk to the chiefs of the Yun and Dia clan.

"So ... this is Oerba. Are there any other clans?" Kakuzu asked the red head.

"Yes, there are. But the major clans are Dia and Yun. There are a few other sub-clans, but all of the clans are basically one big family" she replied cheerfully.

After that quick conversation, the rest of the walk was a bit quiet, except for Vanille's humming. Kakuzu just wanted to check in with the leader and get it over with, while Hidan, uncharacteristically, longed to see Fang.

"Alright you guys! Here are your rooms!"

"So, wait. We're staying with ... whom?"

"Well, as much as I'm sure you want your own empty house to use, Fang apparently said we don't have any empty houses. And because you've never been here before, we've made a decision; to let you stay with Fang and me!" Vanille said joyfully.

All of the sudden, Hidan started jumping around, as if he was a young child who inhaled too many sweets and sugar, and almost bounced off the walls with joy.

"Is he usually like this?"

"Not even close. He's usually either praying to his 'god' Jashin or throwing swears at me and everyone around him every two seconds" Kakuzu responded.

"Who's 'Jashin'?" the young woman asked curiously.

"Ask Hidan once he's calmed down. And could you ask the insane idiot why he's been so hyper, even though I'm pretty sure of the answer?"

"Sue, why not?"

"Uh, thanks. Can you leave now?" the tall man asked a bit rudely.

"Sure!" Vanille said again, with no change of tone in her pleasant voice.

After Vanille left, Kakuzu finally got some peace and quiet. He immediately contacted his leader, Pein, and told him what has happened since they have left. He also asked how long he and the Jashinist should stay here.

"At least for three weeks. Their time." Pein told Kakuzu.

"Their time? What, do they have a different time schedule than we do, hm?" Deidara asked.

"Who knows, but it could be different. We'll just have to wait and see." Kisame replied.

"And if anything goes wrong, leader?"

"We'll send over another duo. I'm not who I would send over though. I'll contemplate it.. This meeting's over." Pein stated, his hologram disappearing.

"Catch you later, Kakuzu, hm?"

"Bye bye Kakuzu-san! BYE!" an orange-masked ninja yelled, his hologram also disappearing.

**xOxOx**

While Kakuzu ended his meeting, Hidan was off on his own, walking around Oerba. He occasionally bumped into a few women, who would give him flirty looks. Unfortunately, Hidan was sick of trying to find Fang by himself, and asked a young merchant about the beautiful woman.

"I haven't got the faintest idea sir. She's probably with the chief of the Yun clan. After all, she _is_ the heiress to the throne." the young man replied.

"SHE'S THE HEIRESS TO THE THRONE? AN HEIRESS?" Hidan cried out, grabbing everyone's attention.

"Yes ... In fact, she's supposed to become the leader once she's 21."

Hidan smirked in response and left the man without thanking him. He then asked a woman where the chiefs of the two clans were, and the woman told him it was classified. The Jashinist grunted, leaving the woman so he could find the place himself.

After a few minutes of exploring the large village, Hidan passed by a nicely-sized building and overheard some voices - they were the leaders and Fang. The silver-haired man decided to eavesdrop a little bit before making his entrance.

"Are you sure it's safe to let these foreign men stay here in Oerba? What if they decided to murder us all in our sleep?"

"If Fang says they're okay, then they probably are. Of course, I understand where you're getting at. Tall men in black cloaks is something you don't see in Gran Pulse at all."

"In that case we should get rid of them! They could be a burden to our village! Think of the people first!"

"I understand what you're saying, Kanza... But because Fang will become the new heiress, why not let her decide?"

Kanza grunted in response, not saying anything after this. The leader of the Yun clan, named Kain, smiled when his comrade agreed.

"Personally," Fang paused, "I'm not really sure what to think of them. As far as I know of, they don't seem to be a big threat. But if they do anything that harms our people or disrupts the ecosystem of Gran Pulse... Then we'll execute them".

Outside, Hidan's eyebrows furrowed as he heard Fang's decision. _'Execution? It's been almost only a day and those tribal people were already thinking of killing us? What the fucking shit.' _He continued to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"Alright then! This meeting's over, thank you father and Kanza." A pause. "Are we having a banquet tonight for our guests? Or are we not? Because we usually have these big dinners for visitors..."

"I believe so, we will have this dinner tomorrow night." Kanza replied.

"Thanks, I'm going to go check on Hidan and Kakuzu..." the voice got louder as it approached the door. Hidan tried to get out of the way, but he was too late. The door swung right into Hidan's face, causing his nose to bleed.

"Fucking shit!" he cursed, stumbling back, "God fucking damn! What the fuck!"

The two leaders looked at Hidan, disapproving of his use of language, and proceeded home. Fang, however, walked right over to him and knelt in front of him.

"Next time, move quicker."

"Next time, don't fucking swing the door so hard! You could've smashed my fucking head you fucking bitch!" Hidan yelled in her face.

Fang, not liking the fact that he called her a vulgar name, slapped him as hard as she could and then punched him square in the jaw.

'Next time," she said, "don't called me a bitch!" And with that, the Pulsian warrior got up and left, leaving Hidan to clean up his own mess.

"Damn women. With their stupid emotions and being sensitive and all that stupid bullshit.."

The Jashinist put his hand over his jaw. It hurt like hell, who knew Fang punched and bitch-slapped so hard? _'Well, she did take down that stupid monster thing that almost cut me into pieces in one blow.. So I guess that it makes sense.'_ He smirked to himself. _'Heh... I guess that's another reason to like this fucking sexy woman. Alright, time to get the fuck up.'_

Hidan got up, wiped the blood off of his face onto his arm, and went back to the house.

**xOxOx**

Back at the house, the red-headed Vanille was preparing a soup that contained behemoth meat, some Pulsian vegetables and Microchu flowers. It was a very strange concoction, because most soup isn't purplish-brown. Kakuzu looked at the soup, and tried his best not to gag at it.

"Are you sure this is ... delicious?" Kakuzu asked, his eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"Don't worry! I know this isn't what you guys usually eat, but I promise," the young woman said, "it'll be good."

Kakuzu nodded, and left the woman to do her business. He went to his room and dug into his pocket. 'Some money that isn't worth anything here, and this..' The scarred man held it up to the sunlight that came through the window, 'strange coin. It's probably money from Pulse. Wonder what it's worth.'

Suddenly, a door swung open and the bronze Pulsian entered the house.

"Welcome back Fang! How was the meeting with Kain and Kanza?"

"Fine. How's the dinner?"

"Looking good so far. I don't know if Kakuzu will like it. He looked and sounded really unsure." Vanille said a bit sadly.

"Well don't worry, if they don't like it, they'll have to go hunting on their own!" the Pulsian woman laughed.

"Fang! That's not very nice!"

"I was joking, love. And with that, you gotta go finish the dinner! Make it delicious, Vanille!

Fang left the young red head to do her business, and proceeded to walk to the guest rooms' door.

"Hey, Kakuzu. Whaddaya doing in there?" she said loudly while knocking on the door, "Dinner's gonna be ready soon. And you better like it!"

Kakuzu grunted in response, not really paying attention to the Pulsian female. He got off the bed and exited the room, the coin in hand.

"Dinner's served!" Vanille exclaimed happily, setting down the large bowl of soup in the middle of the table. Fang brought over four bowls and some spoons and also set it on the table. Once everyone sat down, they began to eat.

"Hey, where's Hidan?"

"I don't really know, but I saw him on the way here. Stupid bastard eavesdropping on our conversation and then callin' me a bitch.."

One again, the large door swung open and there was Hidan.

"Finally! Some fucking food! I'm starving!"

Fang's eyes narrowed as she saw Hidan sit down and start eating. Vanille and Kakuzu just sweatdropped as the Jashinist drank the soup hungrily, finishing the soup in two minutes.

"Alright, I'm done," Hidan stated, his eyes suddenly looking at Fang with a flirty look, "where's the dessert?"

Extremely pissed off, Fang got out of her seat and proceeded to kick the living daylights out of the silver haired man. All the while, Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose and Vanille sweatdropping again.

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**A/N : I was having a hard time trying to end it. Hehehehe... Please Read and Review! And if you have any suggestions or anything, please tell me!**

**Now, a quick question. Should Pein send a duo over? And if he should which team?**


	3. Having a Talk

**A/N : Hello, it's me again. I know people aren't reading and or reviewing this (except for one person, thank you ;u; ). But I hope you enjoy this anyway. Read and Review.**

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After the eventful but messy dinner, Vanille helped Hidan clean himself up, since he began to cough blood. Kakuzu tried his best to calm down the furious Pulsian heiress, but only ended up getting whacked in the face. Eventually Kakuzu knocked her out with his extended fists. The tall man then took her to her room, and hoped to God that she wouldn't try to rip him to parts the next day.

"You okay?" Vanille asked worriedly.

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine. Just a little blood. Nothing to worry about."

Silence. "Hey Hidan, who is 'Jashin'?"

Hidan's eyes opened wide, surprised that the young woman even heard of his almighty God. Nevertheless, he wore a massive grin, ready to tell the Pulsian female about Jashin.

"Well, Jashin is basically a God. He's a fucking awesome God, and his followers are called Jashinists, like me." Vanille nodded, fully cooperating.

"And whenever Jashinists encounter a battle with humans, we are asked by Him to make a sacrifice." The red head cocked her head, "What's the sacrifice?"

He grinned mischievously, "The enemies' life and blood." Vanille covered her mouth, her voice lowered, "Oh my. You're... you're not gonna hurt us... are you?"

The Jashinist laughed heartily, wrapping his arm around the red head's shoulder, "No way! Besides, the Pulsian bitch said if we did anything to you guys, we'd get killed! But too bad! 'Cause you can't fucking kill me!"

"Why not?"

"'Cause people who follow the great Jashin are fuckin' immortal!"

"Oh, I see." she smiled, "Well, that's good I guess! That means you can take as many punches and kicks from Fang and you won't get hurt!"

He smiled sheepishly, "Well, we can still get hurt, I mean you saw me cough up the fucking blood, we just don't die. Besides, the pain from her feels good."

A pause.

"Why does it feel good, Hidan? Shouldn't it hurt?" Vanille questioned naively.

"'Cause Fang's hot! That's why! I wouldn't mind getting hit by her at all! Shit, it only makes me want her more!" he yelled, and then entering a dreamy-like state.

Vanille giggled, "Well, I guess it's true. She _is_ really pretty. Too bad she doesn't really care for relationships. There are so many cute guys that wanna go out with her!"

Hidan's train of though stopped as soon as he heard Vanille mentioning other men, "What? Seriously?"

"Yep! I mean, you did say she was pretty, and after all, who wouldn't want to date the heiress?" the red head said sheepishly, shrugging.

Hidan stood up and grabbed Vanille's shoulders, rapidly shaking her back and forth, "How do I win?"

"Win what?"

"HOW THE FUCK DO I WIN HER OVER?" he practically screamed.

"Shut up!" A grumpy Kakuzu yelled, slamming the door and going back to sleep.

"Um, well. The thing is, like I said," Vanille started fiddling with her fingers, "She doesn't care for relationships." Hidan's head drooped. "But don't worry! We'll just start off with the basics! Start off being friends!"

"Come on, Vanille!" the Jashinist complained, "isn't there any other fuckin' way to win her over? Does she like perfumes or something?"

"I said no! She doesn't like that stuff!" she yelled, her face turning red. After calming down, Vanille told the love-stricken Jashinist what he could do, " Well, why not ask for a training session? But first, I think you should apologize to her."

"Why would I ask for a training session? And why should I apologize? She fuckin' kicked me!"

"If you wanna get on Fang's good side, you gotta be nice to her. And besides, Fang loves a good training session!"

"Is that all this woman does, train? Geez, how boring." Hidan complained.

"Well no, she does other stuff to. Like, attend meetings, go to parties, and sometimes if it's really nice outside," Vanille cupped her hands, and swayed herself side to side, "she'll go out to the beach and watch the moon. It's actually really romantic!"

"Would that mean, if she liked me ... we'd go out and watch the moon?"

"Yes! It's a Pulsian tradition to take your lover outside at midnight and watch the stars and the moon," the red head began to blush, "I wish I could find my love"

Hidan stared at the Pulsian female and said, "I think you'll find him, besides, you got a nice body! But the person won't be me. You already know I fucking like Fang."

"I know. And I wanna help you! I think she deserves someone... Well, goodnight Hidan!" she trotted to her bedroom, "Don't forget to apologize."

"Yep, I won't." And then Vanille closed the door, leaving Hidan alone in the kitchen. The silver haired man stretched his arms, and then went to his bedroom. As soon as he entered his room, he saw Kakuzu staring at him.

"Gah! What the fuck?"

"Calm down, it's just me you nitwit." the tanned man sighed.

"I know it's you, bastard. It's just your eyes. Their creepy."

"Whatever."

"Well, good-fucking-night. See you tomorrow." Hidan claimed sleepily.

"Whatever." Kakuzu moaned again.

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**A/N: I know that was a pretty short chapter, but I had to get it out of the way. So next time, Hidan's going to apologize and then basically ask Fang out on a date TEEHEE. How you liked this chapter!**


	4. Morning

**A/N: I apologize for the inconvenience for the lack of updating! I just finished my exams, and the last time I updated that month was pretty busy with work and all ): I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I apologize for my tardiness.**

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The morning sun rose, and greeted the Oerban houses with its brightness. A certain Pulsian's window was softly hit with the sun's rays, and they greeted her with warmth. Her eyelashes fluttered, knowing it was dawn. She slowly arose from her sleep and stretched her tan arms, yawned loudly. She greeted the sun's rays with a soft, "Good morning" and hopped off her bed to get changed and start her training.

On the other hand, a familiar silver-haired man grunted as the sun's faint light hit a part of his pillow next to his head. Hidan was definitely not in the mood to wake up and start the day. It was already enough that Pein made him get up at six in the morning. Today, he just wanted to sleep in.

After her quiet breakfast, Fang walked through the house and exited, hoping not to wake anyone up. Thanking her loud feet for being silent, she headed outside to the training fields with her trusty lance. As she entered into the fields, she closed her eyes and bowed. This was how she started off a practice battle with her father when she was younger: _enter the field, bow, prepare your formation, start._ She pretended to relive those exhilarating memories, and began swinging her wild lance in a fierce dance of swipes. Within the collection of swings, she added in a few kicks for extra practice.

While Fang was doing her daily training routine, Kakuzu awoke, despite not being a morning person. He got off the bed, and tried to wake up Hidan, "Hidan. Hidan!" "Whaaaat?" a grumpy Jashinist growled into his pillow.

"Get up, we need to talk to the leader" Kakuzu replied hastily.

"Fuck the leader! I need my shut-eye!" he yelled even louder. The tall man kicked Hidan's bed and walked away.

Sitting alone in the kitchen, Kakuzu began his meeting via astral projection...

**xOxOx**

"How was the night, Kakuzu-sama? Are these tribal people ... savages?" a particular blonde haired terrorist asked.

"They're actually civilized, Deidara." he grunted.

"Oh! OH! OOOOH! Kakuzu! KAKUZU! Do they have big, yellow, flightless birds that they ride on? They're called Chocobos!" Tobi squealed.

Ignoring him, Kakuzu asked indirectly, "Is there anything else that I need to look out for?"

"It might be a good idea to look out for their military and all. After all, these "Oerbans" probably have some type of special potential. And we could use them to help us with the tailed beasts..." Itachi suggested.

"It depends, Itachi," the leader said, "if they are willing to work with us. And in order to do that, we would need to make a treaty."

"But treaties... We never make them! Why would we do that for these people?" questioned the Monster of the Hidden Mist.

"You never know, it might be necessary, Kisame-san" Deidara answered calmly. "Leader-sama."

"What?"

Deidara paused, and then continued his question, "Last time we had our short meeting. You said that you might send another pair of partners over. Are you actually going to?"

"I am not sure why he would need to.." Konan mumbled to herself quietly.

Silence wafted throughout the meeting. The only one who wasn't very silent at all was Tobi, who bounced up and down at the thought of Chocobos. But no on really pays attention Tobi during meetings, so he doesn't count. The silence broke once Pein made his choice.

"Yes, I suppose we should. Kakuzu and Hidan will have the job of studying the people of Pulse, and the other two will investigate the field area. We could also use the animals to help us."

"This seems like a pointless mission." Black Zetsu mumbled. "But you never know, it might help." White Zetsu grinned. "Besides, animals taste yummy." "But we don't know much about them. They could be dangerous. But we laugh in the face of danger, yes?" "Yes."

"So who's going to go over to Gran Pulse, Leader-samaaa?" Tobi yelled with enthusiasm.

"Shut up Tobi! If we weren't freaking holograms I would blow up your ass off to the next generation!" Deidara screamed impatiently.

"Okay sempai~" the orange masked ninja replied obediently.

"The partners who are going to go over to Gran Pulse are-"

**oXoXo**

_(Half way during the meeting...)_

"Good morning Kakuzu!" Vanille trotted over to a mediating Kakuzu. "Kakuzu?" Vanille shook his shoulder lightly. "Kakuzu~ Are you there?"

The red heard put her hand on her hips, smirking. _"He must be in some sort of meditative state... I should wake him up anyway."_ She thought devilishly. She sucked in as much air as her young lungs could hold, preparing for a drum-bursting yell.

"KAKUZU!" She screamed.

The tall man's eyes snapped open, his astral meeting with the Akatsuki interrupted. "Vanille!" he scolded, "Why did you do that?"

"I felt like it." She hummed happily. Kakuzu slapped himself in response, not knowing what to do. He was about to find out who was going to visit Pulse. And whether they were going to be totally assholes about it, he didn't know. He hoped that the leader wouldn't mind that Vanille interrupted his "important" meeting.

"Have you made breakfast?" Kakuzu asked, changing the subject.

"Nope, I just got up. Could you wake up Hida-"

"I tried, he won't." he grunted.

"Oh. Well, I guess it's my job to do it!" the young female promptly began to skip to the guest room where Hidan slept.

**OxOxO**

"_Fang!" he called out. He began running towards the Pulsian beauty, who was entering a hot spring._

"_Yes?" she asked, slowly stripping her clothes off and prepared to enter the spring. "I'm here to apologize for my stupid behavior. Will you accept it?" he said graciously **(what the hell Hidan)**._

_At first she was stunned, and then her eyes glimmered with happiness. "Of course I will, Hidan." She slowly sunk into the spring's torrid water, the water relaxing her muscles. "Why don't you join me, Hidan?" she beckoned._

_He nodded stupidly, removing his pants and ninja boots. The silver haired man slipped into the water with the gracefulness of a newborn duck. He sat next to the Pulsian beauty, his face inches towards hers._

"_Fang.."_

"_Hidan.."_

_They were about to close the gap between them, and their lips were almost touch-_

"HIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Vanille yelled in the Jashinist's ear, interrupting his sweet dream.

"God fucking damnit Vanille! I WAS JUST HAVING A GOOD DREAM!" he yelled, his voice cracked. He buried his face back into his fluffed pillow, crying fake tears.

Vanille sighed, leaving the dramatic Jashinist to do his own silly business. She sauntered off to the kitchen, finding Kakuzu eating some Pulsian cereal.

"What the heck is this stuff? Chocobo Flakes?" he asked quizzically. "Do you have anything better. All you guys have are these kiddie cereals..." Instead, Vanille just smiled in response, signaling a "no". The tall man rubbed his temples, and continued to eat the cereal, despite its extreme sugary-ness.

Five minutes later, Hidan came out of the guest room, rubbing his eyes. He walked over to the kitchen table, sat down and dropping his head on the table. "Good fucking morning, Kakuzu.."

"..."

"Did Vanille wake you up by screaming too?" the silver haired man said drowsily. The other man sighed once more, annoyed by Hidan's forgetfulness. "No Hidan, I woke up on my own, remember?" "Oh. Yeah. Did she still scream at you then?"

Silence. "Yes."

More silence wafted into the room until the door swung open. And then a proud Fang entered into the house! "Mornin' everyone~"

"Well, aren't you in a good mood?" Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"Why yes I am, Kakuzu. I just finished another training session." She too, sat down at the kitchen table. "And in a few days, it'll be my birthday. Happy 21st birthday to me."

"Well that's nice." Hidan moaned sarcastically.

Fang scoffed at the Jashinist, slightly hurt that no one cared, but shook it off quickly. "Well someone's in a shitty mood."

"Well, when you have Vanille fucking screaming in your ear to get you up, what the fuck are you going to do?" Hidan retorted.

"Come on, Hidan. No need to be mean to Vanille. After all, I don't wanna damage your precious face, now do I?" She teased.

"I could kick your womanly ass right NOW. This god fucking instant."

"Asshole."

"Bitch."

And then the Jashinist and Pulsian warrior separated their ways. Vanille watched all of this, and massaged her temples. Getting Hidan together with Fang is going to be much harder than she thought.


End file.
